My dear son:
I have yours of 25th inst. Waited a few days thinking possibly John might write me, and then for several days I have been very busy and have had no time to write letters.
Relative to John’s expenses I said to him when he went to B. that I wanted him to write to us what he wanted and his needs would be attended to as we thought best and could afford. One thing I was careful to enjoin upon him was that he should not make accounts with anyone. When I cannot pay cash for what I or my family needs and uses, then we shall dispense with the use of what is wanted – or seemingly wanted, and I deny myself and family many things when I have not the money in hand to purchase. This John understood, but he, as is the case with other things, has his own idea about it and seems determined in his course. He makes an account in spite of my positive injunction. This is not obedience. I am sorry – it has given me much trouble and worry. I had hoped that he would at least have [sense ?] enough to recognize that a father has some say so in what a son spends until that son has reached a majority of 21 years, when he has his own means and is free to does he pleases, but it seems that he will not accept this view, and it is painful to see. What course to pursue is not clear to me. I shall not shirk my duty in giving him use al equal chance for an education, but I cannot give the boys more of this than I do the girls – my obligation children as equals, and so far as I can I shall maintain an equal ratio between them.
John is futile in his excuses – his self -justification for anything he does. Has written to me only two brief notes – one asking permission to go to Staunton (and this he was obliged to have) and one other when I asked an explanation of his reports. To Lizzie, who has always been thoughtful of him he has never sent her a line. To the girls – his sisters, only a few letters have been written. This being the case, and so clearly manifesting his feeling toward homefolks, I had hoped that he would find some employment at B – have felt it would be less embarrassing to him because if he comes home you know I shall not permit him to spend his time in idleness – walking the streets or whiling away his time as I see a majority of the boys doing here. We have a boy who seems to be getting along fairly well with our work, and if John can get employment at B. it will be best for all parties. This thing {?} must be born in mind, and I hope he will not force me to do more than to say so to him. I will not permit him to open an account in my name or in his with the expectation of my paying them. It is my duty to feed, clothe, educate, and nurse when they are sick my children – it is my pleasure to advise and help them – and so far as I am able I shall do so, but I must be left to say to him these things are to be paid for, and have distributed among them.
I send you check for the amount of John’s bill this week of $212.00 besides additional clothing furnished at the time he went to B [Blacksburg] he has consumed this session. The amount asked for by you is $66.90 – I send $70.—leaving $3.10 for him to get home in case he has to come. I am disappointed and hurt over his conduct, and might as well say so in plain words.
We are expecting the girls home tonight – everyone is anxious to see them.
We are all reasonably well; Lizzie is looking badly, and I fear is exerting herself more than she is able to bear. What are your plans?
Affectionately,
Jno. S. Apperson